Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
