Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
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