Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
