i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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