Ambien. No doubt about it.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Randomize
