Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize