She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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