He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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