I must be too annoying 4 u.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
