Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
