Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
We need a shit load of segways right now
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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