Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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