so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
