just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
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