so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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