I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Shame - the story of my life.
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