its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize