Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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