Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
