tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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