If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
