There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
my god I love twenty year old dicks
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
