But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
