I have demons in me.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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