we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
