I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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