Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
My vagina is very pro this idea
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