The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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