Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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