she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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