by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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