Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
