Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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