Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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