Swine flu. Run for my life!
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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