So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i love accidental penises.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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