I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize