can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
