my soul wont recognize me after tonight
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
