If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
