just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
the raccoons are back...
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
