I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
