I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
