I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
