Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Randomize
