I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize