i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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