Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
