I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
