She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
