The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
