So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
