i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
We had sex on a dog bed..
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
