I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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