Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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