and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
