First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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