like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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