i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize