got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
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